NY Islanders News

A Visit From Garth Snow (Twas the Night Before Christmas)

By Joe Pantorno

Twas the night before Christmas,

and in a plane over the mid-west,

The Islanders just pulled out a win in an improbable road test,

Rabid fans smashing their keyboards without a care,

In hopes that a playoff run still would be there,

Matt Martin, passed out as if he was in bed,

After probably taking too many shots to the head,

Tavares in the last row, speaking with coach Cap,

Wondering, how the hell did we just do that?

When from the cargo hold there arose such a bang,

That it awoke the entire team, including a Wang,

They jumped to the window, sprang with a flash,

While Frans Nielsen saw Mike Mottau laying him out with a crash,

The night was clear, the stars were bright,

As little Thomas Hickey jumped to catch a glimpse, with all his might,

The windows fogged, the source of the bang did not show,

Until it appeared, it was  him! Garth Snow!

More rapid than Grabner, he flew towards the plane,

Then with a whistle, he shouted their names,

“Now, JT! Now, Ok! Now, Vanek! Now, Matty!

On, Nelson! On, Bailey! On, Strome! On, Nabby!

To the top of the division, to the top of group,

Let’s win the Stanley Cup, MVP gets a coupe!”

His players and coaches, watched on with confusion,

As he says the defense is stellar, their struggles are an illusion,

Capuano, the Italian, shaking his head, sipping his wine,

Tried to assure his squad that the win didn’t mean all was fine,

But Snow disagreed, exclaimed “We just need more from our fourth line!”

Wait a second, where’s Carkner? Ah, crap, we left him in Atlantic Mine,

And then in his briefcase he shuffled, a place made of fans’ dreams,

Look! I’ll trade JT and A-Mac for the Sedins!”

The players were worried, peering through the fog,

Until they realized Snow carried the essence of Egg Nog,

Cal Clutterbuck was done, he had seen enough,

The mustachioed hero was about to get tough,

With a wink of an eye and a scratch of his beard,

He punched out St. Snow to a very loud cheer,

Now, in no way does this writer dislike the GM pulling the strings,

But this fit the story and he was running out of things,

So before things get weird, #IslesTwitter crazy,

Have a fantastic Christmas, 2014 will provide wins… maybe

Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Hear from our fearless leader, Andy Graziano as he wishes you all a happy holiday!