Sept 29, 2013; Ottawa, Ontario, CAN; New York Islanders centre Ryan Strome (18) shoots on Ottawa Senators goalie Craig Anderson (41) in the first period at the Canadian Tire Centre. Mandatory Credit: Marc DesRosiers-USA TODAY Sports

Ryan Strome: The Most Interesting Hockey Player in the World

 

There hasn’t been much in the way of excitement exuding from Islander country these last few weeks, but two recent incidents have come to light that have resurrected fans and players from their respective slumber.

One is last night’s ‘late-night’ Isles victory against the San Jose Sharks to break the 10-game losing spell.

Thank you, Monsieur Poulin: vous étiez incroyable in goal last night.

The other involves a certain young man.

Aged 20.

Born in Mississauga, Canada. But that’s not confirmed.

Raised on a Top Secret Buddhist colony located somewhere near the Himalayas, run by Shaolin Monks specializing in hockey–and sometimes soccer.

Rumors surround this individual’s first 18 years of life, but some have whispered that the spirit of Guatama Buddha himself has asked these same Monks permission to visit his dreams on several occasions.

This individual relayed back, “Let me meditate on that one.”

In fact, these same Monks are so heavily influenced by his auspicious nature, they no longer use Ohm to fall into their Zen-like state, but rather his last name–which, when you think about it, sounds about the same when you’re ‘saying’  it over and over and over and over again in your mind.

No, these men keep watch over a special talent, a special breed of man, a man that only graces our world once in a life time. A Golden Child, you say?

No. By no means is this individual a ‘child’.

He may very well have appeared one day under a shady tree and decided to stroll up the mountain top.

Whatever the case, this individual is now descending and joining the world. His cup runneth over.

And now takes it upon himself  to teach the NHL world that the Hockey Gods are dead; that there arises a new entity in their place.  

No more false prophecy.

The wait is over.

Ryan Strome has arriv-eth

 

(We reached out via social media today and asked for engagement using the famous commercial as an artist’s palette : And you responded in kind.)

All hail the Most Interesting Hockey Player in the World….

  • He’s no. 1 on every NHL team’s draft board. Still. Like, right now. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • His slap shot is so strong that pucks turn white before his stick hits them. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • Lord Stanley wants to lift his Cup. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He knows the second gunman on the grassy knoll. But won’t tell anyone. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He was the one who really blew up the Death Star. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He scores a hat-trick, even when the team is shutout. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He kills penalties from the locker room. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He ice skates on water. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He doesn’t play where the puck is going to be. The puck plays where HE is going to be. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • It was actually Tonelli-to-Strome. Check the tape. Then check it again. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • No one makes fun of him for liking Nickelback.  No. One. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • 100% of the shots he doesn’t take… DO score. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He runs his own parody account … ‘Strome’s Ego,’ indeed. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • His feet don’t get blisters, but his skates do. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He is so money… The word monetary is in his name. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He was gifted gold, frankincense, and myrrh during his birth. Ryan Strome is the most interesting player in the world.
  • He tells pro scouts what to look for. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He IS an island entire. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He once had a bad shift, just to see how it feels. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He appears in Freddy Kruger’s nightmares. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • His stare resurfaces the ice between periods.  Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • His slapshot must be registered as a weapon in all 50 states of the Union…AND the Virgin Islands. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • Players put their heads down while skating through the neutral zone…out of respect. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He once ate a puck because he ran out of nails. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • Referees serve penalties for him. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.
  • He is all three stars of the game. Even in games he doesn’t play in. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world. 
  • The Plague avoids him like the Plague. Ryan Strome is the most interesting hockey player in the world.

 

Thank you to all our Twitter and Facebook followers. Many contributed, so the list would’ve been too long to thank them outright. If you have additional ones, leave them below.

 

Stay saucy, my friends.

 

RD (@rndhl)

 

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