New York Islanders: Funny John Tavares Quotes From Birch Elementary
By Matt O'Leary

John Tavares and some New York Islanders teammates went to Birch Elementary school in Merrick, New York. Tavares’ quotes stole the day.
Anytime young kids can meet athletes is a fantastic experience. Plus, when it’s Jordan Eberle, Nick Leddy and John Tavares, three very key points to the New York Islanders, it makes it that much better.
Today, those three went to Birch Elementary school to talk to some kids. John Tavares stole the day with his quotes.
I have to tip my hat to Laura Albanese of Newsday for live-tweeting the event because she was the one who provided us with the rare Tavares humor. I’m not even sure Tavares was trying to be funny but that’s exactly what makes it so humorous.
Exhibit A:
"Wow, you've got some energy," John Tavares matter of factly to a room of screaming elementary school kids. It was the most John Tavares thing ever. Trust me.
— Laura Albanese (@AlbaneseLaura) November 14, 2017
Picture a gym of screaming children as three-star athletes come out. Then in a monotone voice, you get a “Wow, you’ve got some energy,” from an even-keeled Tavares. That’s a laugh out loud funny picture I’ve painted in my head.
Then we have this gem:
Tavares has suggested the children ask their questions "quietly and politely" and I am all the way dead. ?
— Laura Albanese (@AlbaneseLaura) November 14, 2017
John Tavares is just 27 years old, but with a quote like that, he’s leapfrogged Jason Chimera and Andrew Ladd for most dad-like New York Islander. Two-for-two on Tavares quotes.
Then came the cherry on top, the grand finale if you will:
Last dispatch from #IslesSchoolDay
— Laura Albanese (@AlbaneseLaura) November 14, 2017
Kid: "Do you secretly want to be on another team."
One second passes, then two. Tavares isn't answering. Eight-second pause.
Tavares: "Absolutely not."
<everyone cheers>
Before we get to the response, or initial lack thereof, we must look at the phrasing of the question. It was worded exactly as I would expect a child, or myself really if we’re being honest, to word the question.
As for Tavares pausing drawing the suspense out with an eight-second pause, that’s just fantastic self-awareness of his awkward contract situation.
The least quotable person on the Islanders just dropped three of my favorite quotes of the year, and he wasn’t even trying to. Never change John Tavares, never change.